We Won't Make A Big Deal Out of This

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 08/01/2015 at 07:34 • Filed to: Drama Llama

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It’s no big deal. Seriously.

We won’t talk about this again, because we shouldn’t.

Article removed, editors quit, and the website will now be “20% nicer”. This was the “unlikely event” that I stated would spur my return. So, I have returned.

And now, we won’t talk about it again, because we don’t need to talk about it again.

I would like to thank the two individuals that reached out to me last week about all of this bullshit that was completely out of their control. I will have beers with each of them in the future, as they are extremely nice guys.

Good morning.

PRBot II > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:03

4

Welcome back! You were missed and we’re glad to have you.

Funktheduck > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:10

2

I dunno man. Kind of a big deal....

;)

The Transporter > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:16

3

On a side note, Gawker doesn’t monetize the traffic on its *.kinja.com web sites like Oppo and the CL.

PatBateman > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 08:26

4

That car needs a sexual event named after it. Sherbert Donk.

PatBateman > The Transporter 08/01/2015 at 08:27

2

Yeah, but I’m so big that I’m a draw to the Kinja universe, including the main sites.

/s

PatBateman > PRBot II 08/01/2015 at 08:28

1

It feels good. RIP work productivity.

Jcarr > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:43

2

Welcome back, Pat! Good to see your soulless face!

Nibby > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:44

2

WELCOME BACK BUDDY

For many days I have teared

But now, in your return.. I am gleaming with triumphant geniality.

PS9 > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:56

3

NO FUCK THAT, ONE OF THE BEST COMMENTORS CAME BACK, I’M GONNA MAKE A HUGE DEAL OUT OF IT!!!

* calls president*
*alert’s local news*
*hires an airplane to fly a ‘BATEMAN’S BAAAACK!!!’ banner over all of central florida*

fhrblig > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 08:59

1

Back just in time for NFL training camps to start! Cool!

Funktheduck > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 09:29

4

Sounds like something in the butt

PatBateman > Jcarr 08/01/2015 at 09:30

0

Thanks. It's good to be back with my soulless face.

PatBateman > Nibby 08/01/2015 at 09:31

4

Let me wipe away your internet tears and admire your triumphant genitals.

Wait... GENIALITY. Oh....

PatBateman > PS9 08/01/2015 at 09:32

2

Make sure it flies over DisneyWorld. I'm sure everyone there wants to know that Patrick Bateman might be in the vicinity.

PatBateman > fhrblig 08/01/2015 at 09:34

1

Bad news: I'll be making weekly posts regarding Hard Knocks since my Texans will be featured this year.

Funktheduck > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 09:34

1

As awesome as that would be I don't think anyone would get it

Funktheduck > fhrblig 08/01/2015 at 09:34

1

Dude. First day of training camp yesterday. I was excited.

PatBateman > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 09:35

3

“My girl insisted I give her a Sherbert Donk last night. It was awesome.”

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 09:35

4

PatBateman > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 09:36

1

Enough people would. We just need 5% of the visitors to understand the message to induce widespread panic.

Nibby > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 09:40

0

XD

fhrblig > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 09:44

0

That’s one of the few things that makes me want to get cable. It’s not enough, yet.

fhrblig > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 09:46

1

Me too. The jonesing got so bad I caught myself watching old USFL games on YouTube.

Funktheduck > fhrblig 08/01/2015 at 10:34

0

I wasn't that hard up but I'm a Falcons fan so I've been excited to see what the new coach will do.

Funktheduck > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 10:36

1

Can we just start dropping this in the comments without explaining even if people ask? “Dude that car is like Sherbert Donk. Gonna get me some”

fhrblig > Funktheduck 08/01/2015 at 10:46

2

I had to go to the Falcons’ website to figure out who the coach was. I totally forgot they fired Mike White.

While I was there, I found this:

Which reminded me of this:

georgechristensen > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 11:04

1

check em

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 11:28

1

Happy to have you back man!

PatBateman > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 08/01/2015 at 11:37

0

Good to be back. And now I won't be around for much of the weekend due to romantic weekend with wife.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 11:38

0

That's a good reason not to be around. Y'all have a good time!

Diesel > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 12:10

0

I would've called but I lost your number. And I knew you were still reccing stuff.

Lekker > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 12:45

0

I have as much clue of what happened as I have beer on my hand. It’s 11AM so I got no beer.

What I do know is I’m sure glad you’re back!! 20% Nicer is a plus too

DipodomysDeserti > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 12:46

0

I wish you a Sherbert Donk filled weekend.

crowmolly > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 15:12

0

HEY GAWKER!

TRY GETTING ME TO FALL FOR YOUR CLICKBAIT NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARDS.

Ha ha.

Welcome back, man.

Funktheduck > fhrblig 08/01/2015 at 15:48

0

Hahahaha

Stef Schrader > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 17:55

3

This deserves ‘lump.

YAY!

Leadbull > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 19:40

0

I have no idea what you're talking about.

PatBateman > Leadbull 08/01/2015 at 19:43

0

Cool.

PatBateman > crowmolly 08/01/2015 at 19:45

0

You say that, and now my very next post got FP’d and has almost 10k views.

I’m part of the system now.

PatBateman > Stef Schrader 08/01/2015 at 19:46

0

I'll take the lump and the car, thank you.

PatBateman > Diesel 08/01/2015 at 19:48

0

Y U NO HAVE NUMBER

Leadbull > PatBateman 08/01/2015 at 19:49

0

Yeah, I thought so!

Stef Schrader > PatBateman 08/02/2015 at 10:48

0

‘Lump cannot be taken. ‘Lump is wherever ‘lump needs to be.

(I do, however, need a 911 ducktail so hard.)

jkm7680 > PatBateman 08/02/2015 at 11:47

1

Wooooo welcome back. Now, for getting Rusto and Rotarylesslover to come back.